i think my tv is drunk
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
birth control should be required to get into college
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize