now i know why i became what i already was.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
