Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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