try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
