is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
