Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
