I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
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TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
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Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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