i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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