there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
