eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
