Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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