K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
