We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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