the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Holy shit dude........stairs
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
