those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
