the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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