is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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