i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
wow bdsm is so cute
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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