I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
