you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We are two peas in an std pod
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
