I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Randomize
