i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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