did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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