Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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