he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
