First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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