my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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