i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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