its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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