can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
