she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You may now shotgun with the bride
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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