is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize