Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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