last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
