For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
