so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
