there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
