Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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