the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
