i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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