if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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