I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize