u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
