You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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