so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
