Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
