we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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