Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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