He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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