i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
