I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
