she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
last night I used snow as a chaser
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
