just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize