He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
