Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
