Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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