Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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