yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
