god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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