so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
