My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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