FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
