white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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