just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
