I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
