Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
