What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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