I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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