"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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