you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
