Will you blow on my dice?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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