idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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