The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
