I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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