I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
