my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
