i love accidental penises.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
