Do vagina's smell?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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