I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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